im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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