this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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