i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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