Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'

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(703): we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret' http://tfl.nu/447f

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(281): View more from Texas

If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking

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(281): If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking http://tfl.nu/5ejk

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(703): View more from Virginia

positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier

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(703): positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier http://tfl.nu/y4xr

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order

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(703): I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order http://tfl.nu/64q0

Replies (11) Good night (1151) Bad night (3935)
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(773): View more from Illinois

We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love

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(773): We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love http://tfl.nu/dxz2

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(410): View more from Maryland

I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old

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(410): I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old http://tfl.nu/pmig

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.

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(405): I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/on2x

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(607): View more from New York

I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

(315): View more from New York

Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.

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(607): I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! (315): Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch. http://tfl.nu/yk91

Replies (16) Good night (4072) Bad night (618)
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(206): View more from Washington

Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.

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(206): Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open. http://tfl.nu/s990

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(770): View more from Georgia

He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.

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(770): He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits. http://tfl.nu/4emx

Replies (11) Good night (396) Bad night (1808)
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(410): View more from Maryland

It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.

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(410): It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole. http://tfl.nu/8vko

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(541): View more from Oregon

Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!

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(541): Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE! http://tfl.nu/iu61

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(561): View more from Florida

Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?

(1-561): View more from Florida

Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.

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(561): Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache? (1-561): Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night. http://tfl.nu/sa3s

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(616): View more from Michigan

i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.

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(616): i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm. http://tfl.nu/enq5

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(806): View more from Texas

I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.

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(806): I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex. http://tfl.nu/q7ob

Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt

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