pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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