Need sex. Gaining weight.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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