you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize