My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize