i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize