He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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