I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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