Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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