Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
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you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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