Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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