is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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