hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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