With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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