so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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