I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize