he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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