Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
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You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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