just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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