Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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