I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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