Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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