Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize