guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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