BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
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This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
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Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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