I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize