I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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