I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
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I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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