so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
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Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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