So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
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Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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