I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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