I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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