i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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