You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize