I wannas sexs uuuuu
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize