I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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