FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i think i just lost a toe
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize