I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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