The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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