he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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