i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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