I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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