His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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