She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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