i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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