is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize