Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize